Alright, let’s call it how things are: relationships can get messy. One minute you could be grumbling about washing, then wondering whether your partner is even listening. Sometimes it seems as though you are caught in a cycle, arguing the same problems while trying to paddle upstream without an oar. Couples counseling at that point can make all the difference, continue reading. How then do you actually start?
The first stop: own the elephant in the room. Choosing to see a counselor is not like flying a white flag. The on strike position of the sink points more toward plumber hire. While you could try duct tape items for some time, periodically you could need a professional. Starting the conversation with your boyfriend could seem more unusual than pineapple on pizza. Just pass it off. Ask someone, “I think we could use some help talking things through—what do you think?” Present it as a team huddle, avoid sounding as though “you have issues.”
Alright, you brought up the topic and none have hurriedly departed. The next step is looking for a quality counselor. Word-of-mouth is priceless; reach out to friends, relatives, or even that know-it-all colleague who is secretly an emotional Ninja. A quick online search will produce results that filter counselors by area, experience, or even insurance compatibility if you would rather not fly your love laundry around. Some counselors even have intro movies; several have webpages outlining their background and ideals. You might be able to feel something in two minutes.
Try not to let credentials trip you. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, or LMFT for short, but also show up are terms like LPC, LCSW, and psychologist. All can help relationships; only note that their focus is more on couples than on solitary people. In unsure, a quick email never damages. “Do you help couples?” asked From what style do you work? Simple inquiries have miracles.
Money matters are not a joke. A few sessions could run more than a prime rib feast. Find out if the counselor offers discounted charges or if your insurance pays. Many clinics apply a sliding scale. Let price tag fear not stop a closer relationship.
schedule a first meeting. First stage raises questions, indeed, but you are not entering a lifetime commitment. Do you both feel heard? The first meeting is a chemistry test. Is this a safe environment or do you feel watched over? Although little awkwardness is inevitable, you desire honesty rather than a performance assessment.
Above all, one must be flexible. Although some would rather meet in person, others select online video chats from the convenience of their couch (optional sweatpants). In either case, give top priority what makes you both comfortable so you will be back.
There is no magic about it. Get ready for homework; sometimes, literal “try this conversation at home” assignments. While effort is very important, advancement is rarely a straight line. Celebrate small successes—even if it means only choosing a pizza topping for once.
Fairy tales are not like relationships. They are more like ongoing gardening projects; occasionally a gopher or two, sometimes there are weeds, sometimes tomatoes. Seeking counsel is not about perfection. It’s about designing something that fits you both—and occasionally calls for outside help.